It was one hell of a holiday season with the recession and everything but with the New Year comes new batches of babes worth numbing your right/left hand for. It’s been months since I featured one of ‘em Twisty’s treats, so now let me present the year opener gal of Babes and Douches — Ashlynn Brooke. No one really gives a shit if those twin peaks are real or not but it sure sure is one that you would love to run your tongue through… err… sorry too much info…

The Babe…

The Douche…

I never get to mention who I consider the bigger douche than Bush last 2008 so to start the year of, I will feature last year’s biggest douche. Or shall I say the biggest set of douches for eternity — the baby rapists. Lat 2008, there are a lot of reports of fathers raping their baby daughters who haven’t even grown their teeth yet. I can still stomach rapists of women but damn, why would you rape a baby for crying out loud?! And your own baby for that matter.

I’m not being a moralist, I just thought its plain gross and monstrous. I won’t say I hope they all get raped and damned here in earth and in hell cause I bet thousands of people have already wished that. But then again I still wish they will.. like right now?

Posted under Twisty's, babes and douches

Get ready for our featured hottie for the day. Since a lot of you have enjoyed the previous model from Twistys, we’re here to show you another babe that will surely get you scintillated. She is blond, brainy, bold and beautiful. Need I say more B adjectives? Oh and you should check out her bountiful bosom! Here is Brea Benett for you…

The Babe… 

 

The Douche…

Today’s douche is the guy who went to the Emergency room to have his ass operated on. He underwent a surgery to take out a potato out of his asshole. Yes a potato.

The Excuse:

 He said he was fixing up curtains by the kitchen window without his clothes on. According to him, he slipped and fell flat on  his ass at the kitchen table and smacked his anus exactly on a potato that he left by the kitchen table.

 The problem:

1) Why would you be fixing a window stark naked? I mean come on, some people do it with their shirts off, but without your pants on?! Dude, does you neighbor have a fetish for men who are cleaning windows?

2)  Everyone have seen all the weird vegetables that people poke inside their organs like say cucumber, eggplant,  radish or… gerbil? But why potato? WHY?

 3) Even if your elaborate excuse is real, who would believe that you weren’t uhh.. pleasuring yourself with a potato?

 

Thanks Fluffee for that story, it totally made my perspective of human behavior a more obscure than the usual.

 

Posted under Twisty's, babes and douches

I can’t think of how exactly I can make things more entertaining for everyone so I decided to make a daily post featuring two of our favorite types of people: the babe who isn’t too ecstatic about covering up and the douche who in spite of being an ass will solicit some laughs from a hefty some.

The Babe….

Here is Twisty’s September Babe Mandy Lyn. Who cares about her stats? The only thing you would think of once you get to see this babe is how you could fit your head in the middle of those bazoomas…

 

The Douche…

 

One day, three friends went to this “Gentlemen’s Club.” One of the friends wanted to impress the other two, so he pulls out a $10 bill. The “dancer” came over to them, and the one friend licked the $10 and put it on her butt.
Not to be outdone, the other friend pulls out a $50 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $50, and puts it on her other cheek.
Now the attention is focused on the third guy. He got out his wallet, thought for a minute… then got out his ATM card, swiped it down her crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and headed for the door.

— www.aardvarkarchie.com

Posted under Twisty's, babes and douches